today ...

... a woman at worked stopped me and said, "i have to ask you this. you seem so centered and relaxed. do you work towards being like this, do you meditate?".

it was an interesting question and gave me a little to think about. i don't really try to be anything. i think that i am naturally pretty laid back -- i can definitely get really excited about things, but never get too worked up. things don't really seem to get to me -- if you don't treat me well, you're not worth the time and i just don't deal with your issues. i don't really stress about it.

it was interesting actually being questioned about the way i act, rather than just being myself and doing it. things definitely get to me at work, dealing with the public, but today it was reinforced for me that everything is as big a deal or as little as you make it in your head. it was nice to hear from this woman that i may exude a calmness, and i was inspired to get in touch with that more.

i told her i have a lot of free time to myself, off of work, just to focus on life and being - which i think has a lot to do with my overall happiness ... but she didn't seem to take that as an answer. she replied, "just in general though, if you were in a stressful situation you wouldn't collapse, you would be gathered enough to deal with it."

i took our conversation as quite a compliment ... an observation from a stranger can be an interesting thing, what does this woman really know about me and how i will hold myself in a certain situation? but strangers many times have the most unbiased views of us ... i think they are important to take in every once in a while ...

a plan.

throwing it out, in hopes that it may materialize.

the schemer is back at it again .... get me started and crazy things can happen.

i think that perhaps i am going thru my 'mid-twenties' crisis. in october i will have been at the co-op for 2 years ... which is freaking me out a little. that fact combined with a lust for adventure and inspiring new friends has lit a spark inside me ... so, now on to the plan.

i guess it started out as making a pact with friends to celebrate new years eve this year in australia. that led to opportunities to work there, which led to visiting a friend in france, which led to opportunities to volunteer/teach english which has always appealed to me. also, with my limited funds ..... combining all those into one huge trip to save money on flights/be able to fly at cheaper times led to this crazy solution.

ideally, i want to be in france the month of june. the easiest way i've found to do that would be to go to australia first (?) ... haha. a round-trip to australia (returning jan. 2011) is only $600! so: australia in may, work for a month (they have amazing looking work hostels that are super cheap and pay loads just to pick fruit outside in the sunshine!) ... and then use that money to buy a super expensive flight to france ... because that seems to be the only thing available. after that, in july i would like to head to thailand, find either a teaching job or a volunteer job. either one would be amazing. i figure that will last at least 4 months ... and then i could return back to australia, and work again for the majority of nov/dec ... all leading up to the great new years eve celebration that started this all off!

anyways, it sounds amazing to me. i believe i can make it work. and i hope i'm not one of those people who is all talk and doesn't actually make it happen. i hope i'm not, but i'm not sure yet.

wish me luck.

sigh ...

blissed out.

i have just experienced some the 7 most amazing days of my life.

an amazing friend is something to be so grateful for in any circumstance ... but to discover a new one from the first moment you meet them is really quite magical. to discover 2 or 3 or even more is a little overwhelming.

and to have 7 full days to just enjoy their pure, genuine company is one of the most amazing experiences you can ever have.

the first day hanging out with these people i witnessed a sight i have never seen before. while all bonding in the water on our boards i looked up to discover the sun with a full circle of a rainbow enclosing it. it was an amazing sight and now that i think of it so appropriate for the week. whatever path we are all on in our own lives we can always come together to create something so beautiful and so connected ... as beautiful as the different colored rings of the everlasting round rainbow circle i was lucky enough to see.

as i type i tear up, smile, and burst into laugher (into laugh, according to marie) while thinking about this week. it was definitely amazing in so many ways, i really felt that this week i no doubt experienced true bliss. watching a friend sing an amazing song, laughing until your face hurts, surfing all day, spooning, cooking, bonding ... making pacts. so utterly beautiful.

this last week has convinced me that although i'm not sure where i'm going that my life is on the right path. a friend posted a great quote:

"coincidences are life's way of teeling us we are on the perfect path".

and i think that is so amazing. the fact that i even got to meet some of these people blow my mind ... i can't imagine what life would be like without them after knowing them just a couple months, much less a couple days! we were meant to cross paths and it IS perfect.

this morning, thanks to my dear friend conor, i was able to make some important choices about where my life is going to go this year. i can't wait ... and i can't wait to make a beautiful rainbow circle again with all my new 'forever friends'.

love to you all so much.

happy year!

2010 is coming along very nicely. i was blessed to be a part of one of the most amazing gatherings of my life on new years eve -- my heart still sings from it. it was very overwhelming in the most amazing way -- the company, the setting, the hugs!, the atmosphere, the music ... the sequins ... i could go on and on.

earlier today a good friend asked me what i'm up this new year and my answer was basically nothing. i don't know if it's a positive thing or not but right now i've decided that i'm happy just as i am. i embody simplicity right now: i'm working a couple days a week with good people, i have a ton of free time to surf, cook, hang with friends, take photos and start projects ... i don't know that i'm moving anywhere specifically, but i'm okay with that for the moment. it's challenging to just simply be happy i think. as silly as it sounds it's a struggle to just sit back and enjoy - without worrying about the future and progress and ... blah blah blah. it's strange, i've stopped pushing so hard for things to happen - but i think the positivity that's taking over is moving me along as much as ever. good things are swirling around in the atmosphere, on their way to me and my loved ones...

i love my new community, the sunsets of the new year have all been amazing, i have a new warm 4:3 wetsuit, i found disney scene it at the thrift store for $4, i painted my studio a lovely shade of blue, i'm coming up on 2 years presence with a lovely boy, i have photo and video and cooking projects galore (all for a good cause) ... to sum it up once again i'm overwhelmed with goodness ... and i'm sticking with that this year.

some realizations.

there are some changes happening/coming this month. i realized a couple things and now that i have it's time to take some action.

i think people fall into the trap of defining themselves too fully by their jobs. a job is just a job - it is not your person. so --- i am avoiding that trap early on. i am moving away from my job, i am cutting my days to three a week and i am smiling.

next month paul and i are moving up to cardiff. i am beyond excited. whenever i am there i have a sense of happiness and peace - it's something i can't really explain. we were looking at places in the area around encinitas and leucadia as well - but for some reason they don't hold that same feeling for me. i'm following that gut feeling and i think it will pay off.

yesterday we spent the day up there and it was lovely. i surfed my best and smiled my best and watched the sun set so fast before my eyes ... and i could get used to that.

roadtrip extravaganza (in pictures).

a trip of all trips. my mind was blown repeatedly by sights, sounds, friendship and gratitude.


it all started off with this little cake that could.


no fast food on this road trip! making guacamole in the parking lot of a random target in the random state of arizona.


perfecto!


flowers for the car, a must for any road trip.


it is confirmed over and over, arizona clouds are the best clouds!


stopped for a hike in sedona. a perfect glimps of the red rocks to come. this is not my picture, but our view was even better! we hiked up bell rock, known as a "vortex" created "not by wind or water, but from spiraling spiritual energy." amazing!


the next day in flagstaff we hiked through the lava river caves. an underground cave about a mile long created by lava flow though the city of flagstaff. it was the darkest dark and the quietest quiet i had ever experienced, until we were overrun by a field trip of 3rd graders .... what??!!! before i knew it they all believed we had survived down there for 3 days eating rocks.


that same day we drove to winslow, az for free camping and cliff diving! combined with the creepy underground caves it was definitely a day of braveness!


sunset romance.


road trip evidence starting to accumulate in the car. along with some lovely feet i was lucky to be accompanied by. thanks nat-times for capturing it!


before we knew it lovely lady micaela and the frenchwoman marie had us hostage in the back of their car. how lovely it was! i would love to be back there.
*fun fact: micaela provided me with my only shower of the trip ... love her!*


amazing group of people. miss them already, wish we had more time together ... and why am i the only one not looking in a group of 20+ ? )thanks rkop for this gem of a photo!)


of course ... the show of shows in the venue of venues. mraz at red rocks ... unbelievable. about the 30th time my mind was blown on this trip. (yay to murphy for this pic and the next!)


sold out!


dancing, dancing, dancing! (thx cheryl!)


ended up unplanned in vegas ... the view from our $13 hotel room!


7-7-7-!


we were definitely big winners this trip!

SO grateful.